I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
