just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
