so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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