i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
