Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
