i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
