I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
