My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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