maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
