with your own penis?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
This toilet bowl is my home.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
