Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
