i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
