you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm really into asian looking animals
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
