it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
