Do vagina's smell?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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