Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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