i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
