It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
