i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
