have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Randomize
