This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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