rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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