He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You made out with two different species that night
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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