last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
