why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wish you could order shots online.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
