lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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