i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
