Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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