Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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