the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So many bounce houses so little time
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
