i just google imaged poop.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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