I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
do nipples grow back?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
