ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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