the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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