i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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