I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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