Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
