i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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