i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
How external is "for external use only"?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I think i got beer on your cat.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
