things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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