At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
