You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
