you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
