I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
