We're like a lot better than the average bears
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
