great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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