we have pet lesbian snakes
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
