But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
