Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
