I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
