Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
