What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
